When I was a little girl I had a very high standard for beauty. (Not my own personal prettiness, of course. I was just your average, brown-eyed middle child with a haircut that looked like a brown mixing bowl with bangs.) My requirements for my “what makes you beautiful” list included blue eyes fringed with dark lashes and blond, curly hair. There should also be diamonds and pearls and satin and feather boas and high heels. I think you know where I’m going here…In my mind, if you looked up beautiful in the dictionary—especially in the late 70’s and early 80’s when I was a child—there would be a picture of the incomparable Miss Piggy. Sure, she was a Muppet, and I’ll admit she was a heartless diva, and don’t get me started on her on-again-off-again romance with Kermit. But she was still my ideal, the unattainable goal.

Now that I lived a little life and seen a few things, I’ve shifted what I know about beauty. Proverbs 31, often known as the chapter with the section about “The Wife of Noble Character,” is a big help as I try to understand what it really means to add beauty to the world. The woman described in verses 10-31 is resourceful, hard-working, generous, strong, wise, and dignified. She’s the total package. Her husband admires her and her children praise her (and not just because they want her to let them invite friends over for a sleepover). This list may seem impossible, but it’s not based on one particular person. It’s a catalog of goals for us to wake up each morning and try again (with God’s help) to aim for.

The list ends with “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” The Apostle Peter echoes these same sentiments in his first letter when he advises: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.” So that pretty much eliminates Miss Piggy from winning a Bible Inner Beauty Pageant.

These scriptures are great reminders for me about the thing our moms always told us: It’s what’s on the inside that counts. Now we just have to act like this is true with how we spend our time improving ourselves and the way we value each other. If we love the God-created person next to us by building him/her up without focusing on the exterior, we become better friends, better parents, better spouses.

The lyrics from one of my favorite songs by the band NEEDTOBREATHE has these lines in the chorus:

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back/Just like the banks to the river

And if you ever feel like you are not enough/I'm gonna break all your mirrors

I wanna be there when the darkness closes in/To make the truth a little clearer

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back/Just like the banks to the river.